The Kaizen Blog

Attempts to continually improve in all walks of life

How Long Do You Hold a Grudge ?

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We have all been there. Once in a while, something goes wrong, and you start not liking the person. But life moves on, and hopefully you forget about the incident that caused the grudge in the first place. But do you let go ? Following real life incidence provoked me into writing this post

Few days ago, my father met an ex-colleague of his after a long time (years) It is important to mention here that both of them have retired from their service for at least 10 years. Considering they worked together in same organization, the topic of discussion was about the organization, other people they knew and so on. This other person started talking about his boss, whom he disliked. Part of the discussion went something like this :

“Remember that guy, Mr X, he used to be my boss. I never really liked that guy.”

… Then some gossip about why the boss-man wasn’t popular… the conversation continues..

“I ran into him last week, at Mr. Y’s son’s wedding. But I didn’t talk to him at all. He is not my boss anymore, you know” .. and so on.

Fine, that happens at lot of places, nothing surprising. But what surprised me was after so many years, this person still held grudge against his boss. Not only that, he almost sounded proud of his stance.  I always believed that time heals all wounds, but I guess not.

In work related setup, both the the supervisor and subordinate have certain roles to play. It is likely that the bad blood was caused due to the setup in which you interacted, and not because the person is bad. Same can apply to your teacher, whom you hated in school because they were strict. (But remember, you are a better person because of him/her)

People remember the fact that they did not like someone years ago. But more often than not, they forget why. What is the point in holding a grudge, if you don’t even remember why.

What suggestions do you have to help someone let of of their long held grudge ?

Note : I liked this image but I’m not sure about the copyright, so instead of adding the image to my post, I’m just redirecting you to it.


Written by Mandar Vaze

January 15, 2009 at 7:54 pm

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