The Kaizen Blog

Attempts to continually improve in all walks of life

Whose fault is it anyway ?

with 3 comments

In the book “The Monk who Sold His Ferrari”, Julian asks John to go over his day, and asks him to see what could he have done differently. John mentions how he cursed the traffic, and cursed the client and so on. Few days ago, I had a similar incident, which led to thinking, is it always someone else’s fault ? May be not.  If one is careful, lot of unnecessary arguments can be avoided.

Think !!

Think !!

That morning, I got up slightly late, so everything was late, and I was getting late for the office. My wife called me to “quickly come in the adjecent terrace” , to show me a rare bird sitting on a tree trunk. So while getting up, I accidentally kicked something kept on the floor, and I was irritated. While I came back after the bird flew away, I mumbled about “why did you have to call me quickly, I’m already getting late for office ..” While I thought I mumbled, she heard, and she was mad. We had unnecessary unpleasant silence till I left for the office. (By the way, I apologized just before I left for office, but that didn’t help much)

Looking back :

  • She had very good intentions, that it was a rare bird that we don’t get to see very often around our house. She knows and shares my passion about bird watching.
  • It was my mistake, that I got up late (I had no good excuse other than laziness)
  • I wasn’t getting extremely late, may be only few minutes. So there was no reason for me to panic
  • I had no meeting or appointment at the office, so few minutes of delay would have had very bad effect. I could have always stayed a little late to catch up with the work.

Have you had incidences, where you regretted about your irrational behavior ? Please share in comments.

Photo by twenty_questions


Written by Mandar Vaze

December 26, 2008 at 9:06 pm

Posted in Motivation, Self Improvement

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3 Responses

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  1. This incident commonly happens in early marriage days when both the partners are in the process of learning, understanding and interacting each other..

    Fine, no issues if you spend some time with this very trivial incident, but if it starts to hamper your routine processes, it gets boring and uninteresting..

    Dont worry, after few more years with your wife, you wont think much, and she wont feel anything..those things will be mutually accepted and expected..

    Tip – I am not married, not fallen in love, not loved by anyone, nor I am a marriage/behaviour counselor. However, I take pragmatic approach to almost everything, not every time, but most of the time, and it really helps..or atleast creates an illusion of doing so 😉

    Harshad Joshi

    January 9, 2009 at 1:47 pm

  2. Harshad,
    Thanks for visiting the blog, and leaving your valuable comment.

    It could happen to any two human beings. Point I was trying to make was “if you think, before you act” many unpleasant conversations (or silences) can be avoided.

    Mandar Vaze

    January 9, 2009 at 2:23 pm

  3. Mandar,

    I completely agree with you that impulsive responses should be avoided.

    Also, if we start paying attention to “other person point of view” then I guess, unpleasant arguments will not happen.



    January 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

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